Not Gonna Die
by Grace-Logan
Summary: When Kaneki has a nightmare Tsukiyama goes to comfort him, will he open up or shut down completely.


Mumbling from their bedroom sucked Tsukiyama's attention away from his book. He knew it was late, having had to switch on a dainty lamp sitting on a dark end table next to the sofa a few hours ago to continue reading, he also knew he shouldn't ignore this. His heart felt restless and dark, as if it sensed something lurking in his and Kaneki's apartment.

Tsukiyama snapped his hard cover book shut and slid it on to the end table beside him, he uncurled his legs and pushed himself to his feet. The mumbling made him turn to the bedroom where Ken was sleeping, the door had been left open though no light penetrated its darkness. The room was shrouded in shadows, the door way looking like a black wall.

He shook his head, his mind was messing with him, he'd stayed up too late, he was too tired, he needed to sleep. Tsukiyama rubbed his face tiredly with, yawning as he stepped around their coffee table and arm chair, just barely avoiding stubbing his toe on the arm chair's short wooden stumps.

Restless shifting from the bedroom and more mumbles had him hurrying to their bed to settle his boyfriend. He walked quickly over the cold floor boards and crawled into bed next to Kaneki's back. Kaneki wilted away from Tsukiyama as he wound an arm across his side and dragged him closer, he curled in on himself and moaned like a wounded animal.

"Ken." Tsukiyama whispered, tapping Kaneki's left bicep. Kaneki shifted away from the touch with a whimper, Tsukiyama felt Kaneki clenched his toes, relax and clench them again as if trying to stop someone from touching them. He had a thing about his toes. Kaneki frowned in his sleep and rolled over into Tsukiyama's chest with a sigh as he breathed in Tsukiyama's scent and his body relaxed.

Tsukiyama settled down and wrapped his arms around Kaneki's lithe form, Kaneki froze up in his sleep, his breath quickened and he pushed back against Tsukiyama's arms, restraining him. He mumbled and pushed, twitched and screamed once. Kaneki's eyes flew open, terror and rage, his fist sunk into Tsukiyama's stomach, broke skin and squished his organs with a squelch.

He screeched and kicked out, shoving Tsukiyama across the room, and jumped to his feet, combat ready and tense as a suspension cable. Tsukiyama's blood left a small thin trail of drops, the wall crumbled behind him, he felt splinters press against his skin, few punctured and drew blood. He fell to the ground limp as a rag doll and curled his arm around the gaping hole in his stomach, blood pooled beneath him, his muscles twitched and Kaneki growled across the room.

Kaneki stepped down from the bed, Tsukiyama looked up into Kaneki's vapid face. His blood ran cold. Kaneki didn't see him, or, anything it seemed. "Ken.." Kaneki stopped, gasped and grabbed his head, he fell to his knees pulling at his hair and screaming incoherently. Tsukiyama dragged himself to his feet and stumbled to Kaneki's form, he fell to his knees and reached for Kaneki's face, tilted it up and smiled at Kaneki's tears.

"Kaneki-kun, it's all right. Just a nightmare, just a dream…" Tsukiyama screamed and choked. Kaneki's eyes snapped to him, fiery loathing in his unseeing eyes. His Kakuja snapped from his back, planted their bodies through Tsukiyama's stomach and chest, as his Rinkaku wound around Tsukiyama's arms and legs.

Tsukiyama's punctured heart thudded in his chest, he hung his head and hacked up blood onto the floor and Kaneki's developing mask, face and legs. His Kakuja and Rinkaku squeezed, the Kakuja winding around his body and grasping their lengths at the base of their entrances. Tsukiyama struggled against the appendages, his arms and legs losing circulation.

"Ka-" Blood forced its way from his mouth, he choked and coughed and rasped trying to fill his punctured lungs. "Ken. Stop."

Kaneki screamed and wrapped his hands around Tsukiyama's neck. He dug his fingers in, penetrating the skin and tearing into Tsukiyama's throat. His Rinkaku and Kakuja became taut, they paused, pulled harder and tore Tsukiyama to pieces. His arms and legs were torn from his body. Splattered into the walls as his body was destroyed by the Kakuja, torn in half and thrown weakly. One half landing near their bed, the other almost dropped next to Kaneki, his Kakuja hitting the wall and destroying the flimsy plaster. Kaneki, still screeching, lifted a handful of Tsukiyama's throat to his mouth, stared into the dead eyes of the head on the floor in front of him and sucked down the wet flesh, cartilage, ligaments and veins like you would an oyster.

He laughed, high, hysterical and crazy. Slapped his clenched fist into the ground and squeezed the other half of Tsukiyama's throat, the muscles squeezed through his fingers. His laugh gasped and rasped, his Kakuja and Rinkaku carved into the walls, floor and roof, deep gouges turning into grating gashes and sharp holes. His laugh stuttered into anguished screams, he tugged sharply at his hair and banged his fists and head into the ground. Tears streaked his face and snot dripped from his nose, blood dried on his skin and set in to his clothes. His mask, Rinkaku and Kakuja dissipated, he heaved and sobbed, his body heaving with his lungs.

He unclenched his fist, dropped half of Tsukiyama's throat and pushed up, raising his head. He came face to face with Tsukiyama's head. Kaneki jumped back with a gasp and raised his hand to his mouth in horror. "Tsukki." He muttered, voice high and bordering on hysterical tones. "Tsukki." He crawled forward and reached out for the head and paused. "Shuu." He whimpered, fruity tone choked with distress.

He tangled his fingers in Tsukiyama's hair and lifted his head from the ground. He stared, his stomach turned and he dropped Shuu's head like he'd been burned and vomited. He heaved and heave till he had nothing left and coughed, spat into his vomit and glimpsed the contents of his stomach.

He coughed and backed away, his hand slipped in a puddle of blood and was enveloped by something warm and wet, he rolled onto his stomach, felt it dampen, ignored the feeling and looked up at what his hand had been caught in. He spared a glance around the room and gaped. He gagged, slapped a hand on his mouth to keep from dry heaving knowing he had nothing left to throw up.

Kaneki backed up against the wall of their room, hyperventilating, tearing at his hair, shaking and gasping. Tears burst from his eyes again and he wailed in anguish. His Rinkaku exploded from his back throwing him onto his hands and knees, it stretch from his skin as if trying to rip itself free. Kaneki was jerked around the floor as if possessed before his Rinkaku slammed into the floor and pushed him into the air. The floor fell inwards collapsing as Kaneki's body was slammed into the floorboards, his Rinkaku dragging him down to knock the breath out of him.

He drowned in self-loathing, 'Shuu', he reached for the walls with his Rinkaku to stop his swift decent, they crumbled at his touch, failing like they were recoiling away from him. 'Because I destroy everything..' Kaneki looked down in a daze. 'I destroy everything… Tsukki.' With tears in his eyes he found his goal, his future. "I have to die."

Kaneki dropped, pushed off from whatever objects he could and lead the downfall of every object in the room. He angled his Rinkaku in front of him, points in line with his stomach, neck and heart. He already felt like it had been ripped out of his chest and stomped on, what mattered if it actually was?

It was a short drop that lasted forever. Tsukiyama's head fell past him and bounced off the debris, rolling closer to Kaneki's destined point of impact. Bed side tables joined the debris as well as all the trinkets and objects cluttering the surface. A glass half full of water, a watch shattering at 3:10am month glowing OCT, alarms clocks, coins and a book. A picture of them from their first date, on a rollercoaster together flying down its steepest drop, Tsukiyama not in the least bit fazed with a lazy smile on his face as he held a sick looking Kaneki to his side, their hair pushed up as if they'd styled it. Kaneki could feel the wind in his hair.

His Rinkaku was launched into his body on impact, tips shoving through his flesh and organs and tearing out his back. He severed half his Kagune, the appendages through his neck and stomach dissipating. The damage was done. The Rinkaku tentacles in his heart shoved themselves in deeper as he slid down their lengths, stretching him wider, filling him.

'Join Shuu, have to… join Tsukki, sorry.'

Kaneki died, his Rinkaku dissipated completely and his empty body slumped into the debris face first. He was spread eagle on the ground, an arm out each side, one almost seeming to reach for Shuu's head. Kaneki himself faced away from his lovers face, twisted in last moments of agony, terror and sadness, blood dried to more than half his face. Tears cut tracks through the blood on Kaneki's face, falling even after death, in a slow dripping trickle across his face and off his nose. Falling further through the debris and hitting the floor, spreading and splattering against the cement, breaking on its harsh surface, drip after drip, until they dried up and stopped along with the dripping of blood from both bodies.

A/N

Well I'd say they both opened up a whole lot tonight ;)


End file.
